"I’ve heard so much about you!"

oh shit

(Source: pemsylvania, via leeisnotonfire)

Venting about pretty much everything.

Right, as the title says, I’m literally going to go into detail about EVERYTHING that is currently bothering me in some way. I’d prefer no attention/sympathy/help. This is mainly for myself (with this website being the only place I can vent in peace without judgmental fucks seeing), but I would also ask of anyone who reads this to think of someone they may know with similar or worse issues, and try to help them out of it.
Ok, without further ado, in now going to tackle the main problems I’m having and go into detail on each. Here goes.

My best friend is currently grounded for literally nothing more than his mother throwing a random hissy fit. My other close friends either live too far away or are busy with other matters. As for most other friends, it seems to that they avoid me at all costs and see me as a last resort to attempting to cure boredom. I’m usually always the last choice. The crushing loneliness of having no one other than some family members to talk to most days is so crushing. I would not wish it on my worst enemy.

My father:
It physically turns my stomach having to call that man by that name. Since I was 6 he heavily reduced contributing both emotionally and financially to me and my brother. This happened due to the fact that he took advantage of my mother during a hard time, and then left her after she gave into his selfish demands. The heart break it caused her was unbearable to watch, especially at such a young age, and it will never be forgiven. He also belittles every little fucking thing I do, and on many occasions has crushed my confidence and eagerness to try new things by telling me that I’ll never have the talent for basically everything that requires effort. All this, as well as the fact that on the occasions I saw him as a child he would leave me to babysit my brother while he got drunk, has led to him losing his ability to visit my house, and he feels like he has been fucked over. I seldom speak with him now, as I should have been in the beginning, and yet despite having no substantial presence in my life, he tries to get involved in our business which does not concern him.
Now despite the fact I haven’t gone fully into what he’s done, I’ll leave this point at that as it is sufficient enough to prove what a pathetic excuse of a parent he is.

A crush:
I currently have a massive crush on a girl (like 99% of teenagers). This girl is so beautiful it’s unreal, and possibly has one of the most warm hearted personalities ever. However, I feel that because I’m far too clingy I’ve annoyed her or put her off talking to me. Thinking about all the possible good and bad things she could think about me often leaves me sleepless most nights.
(by the way, you know who you are, and if you read this I am so sorry for bringing you into this. None of this is your fault, I have only myself and my mess of a brain to blame).

An ex bully:
This cretinous fuck has been giving me shit for literally nothing for 6 years solid. In the past 7 months or so he has heavily toned it down. However, I can still see the hatred in his face when he sees me, and he pushes jokes just that little bit too far with me so that I get pissed off but can’t do anything drastic about it. I’d much prefer if he hit me or something, at least then I could properly deal with it.

My sexuality:
I can safely say with great confidence that I am bisexual. Not the same way that other teenagers see it as as trend, but in the way that I true and true belong to that group. That itself is no bother at all. What really bothers me is the shocking amount of close minded idiots and homophobes who have attempted to or started fights/brief periods of bullying. It’s so enraging that people can’t just live and let fucking live.

Right, that’s me done I suppose. Like I said, try think of those who may be experiencing similar or worse problems, or just problems in fucking general, and be supportive. If you’ve read this far, thank you so much for your time. It means more than you think if even one person cares enough to read this. <3

"The nose half a foot long, shaped like a beak, filled with perfume with only two holes, one on each side near the nostrils, but that can suffice to breathe and to carry along with the air one breathes the impression of the drugs enclosed further along in the beak. Under the coat we wear boots made in Moroccan leather (goat leather) from the front of the breeches in smooth skin that are attached to said boots and a short-sleeved blouse in smooth skin, the bottom of which is tucked into the breeches. The hat and gloves are also made of the same skin… with spectacles over the eyes."

”But what bothers him it all comes out,
When he talks about,
His fucking dad walking out.
Cause he hates him so bad that he blocks him out,
But if he ever saw him again he’d probably knock him out”

Mother wanted a typical, perfect, happy family.
Too bad father lacked the same desire.

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